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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29077806">Echoes in the Silence</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeviSqueaks/pseuds/LeviSqueaks'>LeviSqueaks</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Outlander &amp; Related Fandoms, Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Battlefield, Breathplay, Confessions, F/M, Hand Jobs, Infidelity, M/M, Major Character Injury, Revolutionary War, Sensory Deprivation, hearing loss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:13:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,658</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29077806</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeviSqueaks/pseuds/LeviSqueaks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>John prays to see the next sunrise, Jamie years to hear.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser, Jamie Fraser/Lord John Grey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Lord John Grey Cocoa and Kink 2020, Outlander Bingo Challenge</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Praying for Dawn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>Echoes in the Silence</p><p>This was madness.</p><p>Beyond madness even and the horror of the battlefield would forever haunt John. He was no stranger to fighting, familiar with the smell and noise and terror that rose like bile in his throat. He felt all of his attention zero in to the harsh clanging, grunts and screams as he defended himself and sent a litany of prayers for safety up as bullets buried themselves in the soft bodies of men around him. A loud explosion from the cannons on the crest of the hill forced him to his knees, flinching as he watched dirt and bodies spray up, blood curdling screams sounding as men were torn apart.</p><p>This was savagery and he wanted no part of it.</p><p>He ducked down behind a tree and shucked out of his coat, feeling the tacky warmth of blood across his shoulder. A slice then, or perhaps a graze… taking the moment to catch his breath brought the hot firebrand of sliced skin that throbbed with the pounding of his heart. He couldn’t allow himself to rest too long, for fear he would fatigue which would only result in death.</p><p>Another blood curdling scream following cannon fire made him flinch back against the bark of the tree and he took two deep gulps of air until the effort of it ached in his chest as he forced himself back to his feet. His legs were shaking and he swallowed down the fear at the thought of racing back out into the battle. He abandoned the red coat to the grass. Hang it and hang his brother if the man thought it would be worth scolding him for. He’d rather be out of uniform if it meant a better chance at living to see another dawn.</p><p>He looked around the tree and found hundreds of men locked in ferocious battle and he cursed under his breath before reengaging, careful to keep his front covered and moving to disarm and cripple but not kill. Christ it had all led to this, despite Claire’s warnings and the thought of the woman made John’s heart ache in fear. He scanned the battle as he ducked under a wild blow, eyes searching for red curls and broad shoulders. He almost didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to know if Jamie wasn’t there, didn’t want to know if he was hurt. If he lost Jamie he was sure that his heart would never be mended again. He had lost Hector this way, all those many years ago, the thought of losing the damnable Scot… no he couldn’t imagine surviving that sorrow.</p><p>John felt fire across his arm and yelled as he turned and slammed his sword across the other man’s head and ducked away. He could feel the blood dropping down his arm, hot and sticky and the scent of it made his head swim. He saw Jamie then as he turned and his breath caught quick in his throat at the sight of the man.</p><p>Jamie was a vision as he often was. But here, in battle, it was greater than John could remember in recent memory. The man’s broad back was facing him, red hair swinging along with the ferocity that he swung his sword. His kilt was slinging to and fro as Jamie ducked and whirled, two soldiers falling to his sword in quick succession. There were tears, blood that John could spot even from the distance and the worry for him twisted his gut in fear.</p><p>But he couldn’t let himself get distracted and he quickly ducked down as a redcoat ran toward him with sword swinging wide. John’s eyes widened and he dropped into the mud as the man careened above him. John heaved as he realized he had thrown himself down into the mud stained red with the blood and excrement of the dead man next to him. He couldn’t take even a moment to let the horror set in as he quickly rolled back up and parried, gutting the man so determined to kill him.</p><p>Without the coat, his compatriots had turned into enemies and something settled within himself at the realization. He hardly wanted to fight against Jamie and his kin so he settled in, trying to keep himself from spilling more blood on either side.</p><p>He panted and then swore again as the cannons went off and a clump of earth landed right next to him, followed by the screams of the wounded. He turned, crawling toward Jamie, his legs shaking and vision swimming. That blast was too close to where they were, they needed to retreat. His eyes scanned the battle to lock back onto Jamie again, and the man slammed his sword viciously into the skull of a redcoat. John watched as the man’s head seemed to crumple into itself as the body fell heavily at Jamie’s feet. His back was heaving with the panting that the man was trying to bring under control. They were too old for this.</p><p>The cannons fired again and John felt them race overhead. His blue eyes widened in shock as they landed directly next to Jamie, the man flying through the air with the concussive blast along with the earth he had been standing on before landing in a too still heap. The screaming that followed was Jamie’s name from John’s throat.</p><p>He forced himself up, the only thing he could hear was the own terrible pounding of his heart. He couldn’t see anything but the still body laying unnaturally in the dirt. He couldn’t be gone, couldn’t be dead. John wouldn’t allow it.</p><p>John scrambled forward, his own body uncoordinated in it’s fear and he reached forward, his hand coming to rest on Jamie’s heart as he cried out Jamie’s name. The battle around them didn’t matter, the death or the sound of retreat, none of it mattered as John cradled Jamie’s head.</p><p>There was blood pouring from Jamie’s ears and John wasn’t sure what it could mean. His awareness of their surroundings suddenly snapped back as Jamie drew a ragged breath, coughing on blood and green eyes opened to meet his before a blow to the back of his head drew darkness over his vision.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Touch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When John came to, it was to the sounds of suffering and the heavy scent of death. </p><p>He looked around, the battlefield darkening with the fall of the sun and his eyes quickly snapped back to Jamie. He had been sprawled over the man and he quickly pushed himself up, his entire body screaming in pain as he shook the man. “Jamie, <em><em>Jamie! Wake up, man!” </em></em>he insisted, his own voice hoarse with pain and fear. He was parched and there were lines of fire across his arms and shoulders, his temple throbbing with pain from where he had been hit. None of it mattered. None of it. Not if Jamie wasn’t alright. </p><p>Jamie was almost unnaturally still beneath him, dried blood having leaked out of his ears, nose, and mouth. But there, a slow rise of his chest. He was alive, by some miracle and the grace of God. John sobbed in relief and he shoved at Jamie, a small sob escaping as the pain in his head stabbed brightly from the firm movement before nausea rolled over him. </p><p>Green eyes snapped open and blinked in the failing light of dusk. John exhaled in a ragged sigh of relief, unaware he had been holding his breath. </p><p>“John?” the Scot croaked and John laughed softly, the sound caught in his throat with tears of relief and pain. </p><p>Jamie’s eyes were focused on John’s face but suddenly horror crossed over sharp features. Fear filled Jamie’s eyes and John’s stomach twisted in sympathy. </p><p>“John? John I cannae hear ye.” Jamie’s voice was pleading, scared.</p><p>John forced himself to sit, cupping Jamie’s face despite the ache that reaching forward caused him, “I’m here, Jamie. I’m right here,” he soothed carefully. </p><p>Jamie shook his head and his breath started to come in short fits and gasps. “I cannae hear ye.” he whispered hoarsely. “I need tae hear ye, Mo chridhe. I need tae hear ye when I…” he trailed off, guilt crossing his face briefly. </p><p>John quickly reached up and untied his stock, pulling his shirt apart before dragging Jamie’s hand up to place against his own throat. A breathy moan escaped his throat and the vibration of it caused Jamie’s hand to flex lightly against the skin there, “I’m here Jamie, I promise.” </p><p>Jamie’s eyes were focused on John’s lips as they formed around the words just as his hand curled around John’s throat to feel the words. </p><p>The gruesome field around them, the death and decay… the destruction all melted away. Their eyes met for several long moments. Jamie’s fingers were hot against the pulse point in John’s throat and John swallowed, feeling the shift of it against the pressure there. Jamie could crush him, but he trusted the man with his life and love. He knew he was safe. </p><p>“John, I love ye.” </p><p>The words came startling and swift. Jamie’s face was scrunched up, reluctance and terror written there as he seemed to grapple with himself. John knew it of course. How could he not? They had been together, orbiting each other since Culloden, since Ardsmuir… the passion and anger always spiraling deeper and stronger as they ebbed and flowed and found their way. </p><p>John pressed a little against the hand at his throat, “Jamie,” he waited until those green eyes fluttered back open from where they had squeezed shut and John let his hand stroke down across the other man’s chest, “Jamie, I love you, I always have.” He would not let fear stay his voice. They had both narrowly escaped death today, it would be foolish to stay quiet not knowing what tomorrow would bring. </p><p>Jamie stared at him, fear and wonder warring before he squeezed tighter and used his grip to drag John down to kiss him. </p><p>Kissing Jamie was like dying. Too much. Too hot. Too close to a goodbye. He fell over the cliff, pressing closer, collapsing against the bigger man’s chest as their lips moved against each other. He could taste blood, the coppery taste stronger the longer they kissed. Jamie thrust his tongue into John’s willing mouth and it was nearly too much. John whimpered against Jamie’s mouth. Jamie’s fingers flexed where they still lay against John’s throat and John refused to stay quiet as he shifted to lie against Jamie until their bodies melted into one another. </p><p>Their bodies shifted and rocked against each other in desperation. Confessions and a near-death experience were finally enough to break through the last of their barriers. Jamie’s one hand stayed wrapped around John’s throat as the other ripped hurriedly at John’s flies. While John dragged plaid up and away so he could grip Jamie’s prick, hand dragging up across the hard length. </p><p>“Christ John, please dinna stop talking, need to feel ye,” Jamie begged as two buttons ripped from the wool of John’s breeches and a hot hand gripped bared skin. </p><p>“Jamie! God I’ve dreamed of this, dreamed of you in my arms. Dreamed of touching you like this.” They were both too far gone and too hurt to think of more than the fevered speed of hands against flesh and John paused to bend and kiss Jamie again. </p><p>Having Jamie’s hand against his throat made it so much more and he groaned as Jamie’s hand squeezed and stroked his own cock in time with John’s hurried movements. They were frenetic and moans spilled between their lips as John kept saying Jamie’s name. He was too lost in it. Lost in Jamie. In their love. Lost in the pleasure which coiled tighter with each deft stroke. </p><p>John was so lost that he didn’t hear the approaching steps. Didn’t hear the gasp of horror as Jamie came crying John’s name, quickly following at the feeling of Jamie’s seed pouring over his fist. </p><p>“Jesus H Roosevelt Christ! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Claire’s hissed voice turned shrill by the end of her demand. </p><p>John froze in the kiss with Jamie, pulling back as he swallowed against the hand wrapped around his throat. Jamie’s eyes snapped open as if to find out why John had pulled away.</p><p>John could feel himself paling, his heart racing in fear and shock at being caught out. He had been so foolish to let his guard down. He saw Jamie turn to face his wife, having followed John’s eyes. There was a frozen moment of no noise before Jamie made a rude Scottish noise in the back of his throat. “Christ... Claire,” there was relief then in his tone, dismissive as some of the tension left his frame. </p><p>John wasn’t entirely sure that he shared that relaxed sentiment.  </p><p>“What are you <em><em>doing,</em></em> Jamie Fraser?” came the clipped, furious question from the woman staring down at them. John’s orgasm and injuries left him too tired to respond, to make excuses and try to hide the seed spread across his hand. He was so tired. </p><p>“It doesnae concern ye, Claire,” Jamie said dismissively as he forced himself up. “I cannae hear ye anyway,” he added then and squinted up at her as John’s hands automatically moved forward to brace Jamie as he tried to sit up, a hissed whimper leaving both of them at the stretch of injured muscles. </p><p>“It doesn’t <em><em>concern me? I am your </em><strong><em><strong>wife,</strong></em></strong><em> Jamie Fraser,” </em></em> she spit hatefully and her lips pressed tightly together as she glared furiously at John. John was certain that if she truly were the witch people whispered she was, he would have burst into flames on the spot. </p><p>“Aye, as I said, it doesnae concern ye, and I thank ye to stay out of it. My wife ye may be, but ye arenae the only one I love.” </p><p>Claire’s yelling had attracted a few of Jamie’s men and John recognized Fergus and Ian among them as he dragged Jamie’s plaids down to hide the man from view and buttoned the only two buttons of his fly that were intact, tugging his own shirt out to hide them as they got closer. </p><p>“Merde! Thank god you found them,” Fergus said as he hurried forward to carefully pull Jamie up who startled until he saw Fergus’ face. John was offered a hand by young Ian who’s own shirt was in tatters, the pale skin of his head gleaming where the hair was shorn.</p><p>“Don’t help him!” Claire snapped at Ian stepping forward, fists clenched tight. “Don’t help that bloody cock-sucking redcoat bastard!”  </p><p>A click sounded, bringing her up short and John swore it was louder than the cannons had been earlier. Jamie had shifted, with Fergus’ support, and had his pistol leveled at Claire, face grave as he partially blocked John from her view. </p><p>“I’ll thank ye kindly, tae consider yer next words carefully, Sassenach.”</p><p>Fergus and Ian froze on either side of John and Jamie and the stabbing pain in John’s head multiplied ferociously at the tension. They exchanged careful glances before squaring up. Ian carefully left John’s side and bile rose in his throat as he watched the younger man step closer to Jamie and Claire before he set his shoulders just ahead of Jamie, shielding both of them from her. </p><p>The lines were drawn and it was clear who had the favor and support of those more readily able. </p><p>Claire’s eyes were cold and hateful as she stared them down. She turned then, storming off without another word. Jamie uncocked the gun and let his trembling arm fall to his side then before he handed the pistol to Ian and reached back to take John’s hand silently. </p><p>They had survived. Bruised and hurt, but alive. John couldn’t wait to see the sun rise again. </p><p>FIN</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Comments feed the author!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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